The Worst Assignment
by Hiriyou
Summary: Innuendoes.. extensive use... Really funny. The guys have class and their homework doesn't seem to sit well with the teacher. Please review!


Author: Hiriyou  
  
Disclaimers: These boys aren't mine *cheering heard from the G-boys* SHUT UP *everybody sweatdrops*  
  
Warnings: humor, poemfic, innuendo's (lots of em!)  
  
Pairings: 2X1 implied, 3X4 implied  
  
//thoughts//  
  
Notes: This all started with a very bored author in a very boring class. My health class is the stupidest thing ever! All I do is sit there and talk with some people around me...  
  
Wufei: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SLAPPED ME!  
  
Hiriyou: Aww... whatsa matter Wufei? Mad that you got hit by an *onna*?  
  
Wufei: *grumbling*...all right, all right... what is it you want from me?  
  
Hiriyou: *grinning* apologize to me!  
  
Wufei: Ok, I apo...  
  
Hiriyou: Wearing this! *shoves costume into a disgruntled Wufei's face*  
  
Wufei: *Looking at certain costume* WHAT?!?! I REFUSE TO WEAR A BLUE BUNNY SUIT!  
  
Hiriyou: *Still grinning* How come?  
  
Wufei: *very calm and matter-of-fact voice* Because, pink is much more my color...  
  
Hiriyou: *Blanches* Oooooookkkkkkkkk.... ON WITH THE FIC! ON WITH THE FIC! *Banging on space to get away from the imposter Wufei behind her*  
  
The Wrong Assignment  
  
"My poem is titled 'That Hair'...  
  
Hair down to there!  
  
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!  
  
Down to there!  
  
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!  
  
Man that hair  
  
Is driving me crazy!  
  
I like it long  
  
And I like wavy!  
  
Say man, how'd you get that hair  
  
Down to there?  
  
Hair down to there!  
  
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!  
  
Down to there!  
  
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!  
  
Man I like that hair!  
  
DAMN! I love that hair!  
  
I don't care  
  
What ya do with that hair,  
  
But whatever you dare,  
  
Don't you dare,  
  
Cut that hair!!"  
  
Heero read the poem to the class in his usual deadly monotone and stone face. The other pilot in the class was about to explode from having to hold in his laughter. Blinking, the teach asked the stoic boy, "How... um.... interesting? What, may I say, inspired you?"  
  
With a slight smirk, Heero replied, "It must have been rammed into my brain last night and wouldn't go away." He gave a significant look at his braided roommate who was now an vivid hue of beet red.  
  
"Really?! Well... All right! Heero you may return to your seat! ...Duo, you're up!" The teacher's now squeaky falsetto voice sounded extremely embarrassed.  
  
Duo made his way up to the front of the class with his usual cheeky grin in place as the laughter had subsided to a few snickers every now and then. He held the paper in his hand. He started to tread aloud.  
  
"The title of my poem is 'Omae O Korosu'  
  
Omae o korosu!  
  
Is that all that you can say?  
  
Why can't you ever give me  
  
The freakin time of day?!  
  
I guess with that blonde bimbo  
  
Always chasing after you  
  
You really like to tell her,  
  
Omae o korosu!  
  
I guess I otta tell you this  
  
And you know that it's the truth.  
  
Cause I'm not one to lie,  
  
Especially to you.  
  
But it really turns me on  
  
When you say 'Omae o korosu, too!  
  
When anybody comes  
  
And tries to get with me,  
  
You're whipping out that gun  
  
To say, 'You'd better fucking leave!'  
  
Too bad that they don't know you,  
  
So they try to mess around  
  
And next thing they know it's,  
  
One... two....  
  
Omae o korsu..."  
  
As Duo finished, his lover was giving him a measuring look. Finally deciding he liked the poem, he let one side of his mouth quirk up into a small smile.  
  
The teacher didn't know exactly what "Omae o korosu" meant (A/N 'omae o korosu' means 'I'm going to kill you' in Japanese.), but she had a pretty good idea. "Ok! To our new students, I don't like it when you write your assignments with other languages incorporated. It is very creative and innovating, but it's not good for this class. Our next presenter, Trowa Barton."  
  
As the taller boy walked up with his head bowed, Quatre thought he saw a faint blush on his cheeks. //wonder what that's about...// He made a noise in the back of his throat and began.  
  
"The Innocent Ones...  
  
Watch out for the innocent ones.  
  
They'll get you every time.  
  
Watch out for the innocent ones.  
  
They'll really blow your mind.  
  
Same time  
  
Same place.  
  
I'm not quite sure why  
  
I surrendered to his face.  
  
Innocent eyes  
  
Innocent voice  
  
My heart knew what it wanted.  
  
I didn't have a choice.  
  
He's an innocent one.  
  
And he gets me every time.  
  
Yeah he's *really* innocent.  
  
Like when he blows my mind."  
  
Trowa tried to see if he could get his hair to cover all of his face. He noticed a platinum head bent and laying on the desk. But the HeavyArms pilot could still see the furious blush on his little love's face.  
  
By now, the poor teacher was about to die from just the extensive use of innuendoes alone. //Well, at least Quatre's next. He's always been such a nice boy...// Then she remembered the last poem and physically cringed. //Oh. shit.// timidly she said, "Quatre? Your turn."  
  
The beaming boy came up to the front with no hesitation. He may have looked angelic, but his eyes promised something else. "Ma'am, I wrote a haiku, is that all right?"  
  
The teacher mentally sighed in relief, what could he do to a haiku? By the end, she regretted these words, *painfully* regretted them. Quatre's poem was;  
  
"Nanashi  
  
After I met you  
  
I found out about my own  
  
Nymphomania..."  
  
A gleam in his lover's eyes caught Trowa's attention and he could tell that unless class ended soon, they were going to have a lot to explain to the teacher.  
  
The small Arabian went back to his seat with many students looking at him confusedly. He grinned at Trowa and winked. Trowa swallowed hard.  
  
Shaking a couple of Aspirin out of her pill bottle to help the raging migraine, "Wufei Chang," she called out blithely. He would probably just make a poem about justice or something.  
  
Striding confidently, he turned and he bellowed out almost immediately.  
  
"My poem is 'Onnas!'  
  
Dammit onna!  
  
Can't you do anything?!  
  
Stupid onna!  
  
Why must I do everything?!  
  
Nataku help me!  
  
Save me  
  
From these onna beings!  
  
You need to know  
  
Insecurity is why I keep ranting!  
  
Damn onnas!  
  
Damn onnas!  
  
Damn onnas!  
  
DAMN THOSE DAMN ONNAS!!!"  
  
Wufei was slightly panting from the exertion and his face was sort of flushed. He returned to his seat and class continued. Nearing the bell, the teacher announced the homework.  
  
"All right. I want you to write a one page, yes the front *and* the back of the paper, essay on something you derive pleasure from," and as the bell rang, a light switch in her brain, she realized just what the little hentais in her class would probably write about, she yelled, "NO! NO! I'm retracting that assignment!" But her words fell on empty spaces, the five hellions were already gone, most likely getting the "inspiration" for their assignments.  
  
Tomorrow came, and the teacher dreaded her last class. But fourth period came (1) and her students entered. Four of them held a light in their eyes an the she didn't want to know about. Unwillingly, she noted that Heero and Quatre were walking a bit gingerly. Duo raised his hand and she reluctantly called on him. "Yes?..."  
  
"Are we presenting our essays today?"  
  
"NO!" She nearly came out of her chair shouting.  
  
Pouting, Duo sat back in his seat with his arms crossed across his chest.  
  
After class, the teacher lined up all of the papers that had mostly just been thrown unceremoniously onto her desk. Before stacking them all, she took out five very *special* essays and automatically marked them all with an "A." Hell, it was better than reading them!  
  
Owari~  
  
(1) At my school, we have what's known as a "block system." That means we only have four periods a day. And also, one semester long class = one credit. I love my school! It's the teachers I hate! =^_^= 


End file.
